DB, I know how you feel. I haven't had my SE-i since new, but since '01 and 86k miles (now 211k). A former pilot, I'm a firm believer in fixing stuff before it breaks, and I have immediately fixed anything that I feel needs it. The suspension is the one area that has been on-and-off frustrating.
I have modified it some, with Eibach Pro-kit springs and Bilstein shocks, the fronts which I had revalved *twice* before I was happy with the settings. On that score, I am perfectly happy; and like you, it takes a lot to make me perfectly happy. In high-speed sweepers with bumps the car tracks perfectly, as a Mustang discovered to his almost-into-the-Jersey Barrier-embarrassment a couple of weeks ago. The 1" drop makes it look better, and the slight increase in harshness is a very acceptable trade-off for the much better handling. I highly recommend it.
The squeaks and various bumps, however, have been a continuing challenge. I am just about to order every single blankety-blank rear suspension bushing and bolt on the car, including the big trailing arm ones (they have to be pressed in I believe), and new ones for the shock towers. Since I have replaced both rear UCA's, this had better fix the bumping that I *sometimes* experience with a rapid compression of the suspension. My mechanic will be under an absolute "if you do not slather these bushings with copious quantities of silicon grease I will ..... I will do something bad to you" orders.
On the front, I just replaced the radius arm bushings for the second time in my ownership. There was no crashing, but I began to notice a slight amount of torque steer, very gradually increasing over time. The new bushings fixed the problem.
But the main issue with the front end is the constant battle with squeaks. It seems to be most prevalent when the temp is either quite cold or very hot. I have replaced, at one time or another, all the bushings up front, and have always insisted on them being greased. I think it's been done, as I've made such a point of it with the shop. All four control arms/ball joints are pretty new, I believe it's mostly the UCA bushings that are the culprit. Coincidentally, I have an upcoming repair that will give me an excuse to replace these non-OEM bushings (my bad there).
When I bought my car, the seller mentioned that they had hit a pot hole at some point and had had to buy a new wheel and tire. Turns out that they hit so hard that the suspension mount was moved some, such that the camber was 1.1 degrees more negative on the right than on the left. When I dropped the car by 1" with the springs, it accentuated the negative camber another 1+ degrees, so it is a little much. I have bought camber-adjusting mounts to take care of the problem, which necessitates detaching the control arms, so I am going to order a new set of bushings from Honda (I now only use Honda OEM, as I have found the quality of everything else varies too widely. The only exception was when my distributor failed, and I just couldn't get my billfold to open to the tune of $500 for new OEM one. That was a junkyard visit, after Cardone sent me one that didn't work). While I'm at it, I might just order a bunch of other bushings too for the front. I'm so tired of not being able to get on top of those intermittent squeaks that I'm willing to just throw money at it.
I did once have this knocking from the right front, which was caused by a now-departed shop not torquing the UCA bushing bolt to 40. It was so loose it was making the noise. I took off the front wheel, tightened things up, fired the shop, and it as OK.
Overall, I'm very happy with the engineering choices Honda made twenty-something years ago. My only quibble is with the squeaks and the front brake rotors. Even the leather guy, when he fixed my driver's seat, commented on how the SE-i leather was very good quality, and far above the hides in other cars of the same price point. Not so bad, and why I love the car.
The other reason I love the car is I can get tremendous support for it right here, from people with far more knowledge than I have. I almost feel with my car, that I have an obligation to keep it in great shape, so that the next owner (after they pry my dead fingers from the wheel) will be motivated to do the same.
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